Skills skills skills

Skills, Skills, Skills – Do you have those testing skills? 3


Skills skills skillsWhile hate-reading some articles posted online over the weekend, I ended up looking on College Board’s website for a reference link to share with one of my twitter buddies and lo and behold I found this awesome new College Board tagline. Apparently College Board has decided that to help convince everyone that the redesigned SAT tests the skills that students have developed in high school they are going to use “Skill” as often as they can and in as many contexts as they can come up with. Here are a few more samples:

Skills skills skills 3

Skills skills skills 2

 

This awesomely bad use of the word immediately reminded me of Destiny’s Child’s hit Bills Bills Bills. So inspired by lack of sleep and a sick sense of humor I decided to pen College Board’s new theme song. I highly recommend that they play it every time David Coleman comes on stage.

Before I share with you the awesomeness of my first musical masterpiece, let me share with you a contest.

 

Music Skills to pay the SAT Prep Bills

The challenge is to create the best Skills, Skills, Skills song.  The best submission of a rendition of a college or SAT themed Skills Skills Skills will receive a free SAT prep class for a school or non-profit organization of their choice* (limitations apply).  I’ll actually choose two winning submissions.

Deadline to submit is November 15, winner will be announced here and on twitter (akilbello) on November 20.

Destiny’s Child – Bills Bills Bills

And now, without further ado:

 

Skills Skills, Skills

by Ken-ye Test (aka Akil Bello)

At first this started about school
Testing for college and for scholarships
But now, you’re getting comfortable
Ain’t scorin’ like you used to score
You’re slowly making me learn ya things your high school should be handling
And now I’ve given you the Core (cooooorrree)
Teaching you thinking and to read a doc or graph
And you have the audacity to even come and say you’re ready
Ask to go to university or even get a job from me

You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
They’re fallin’, the new test better help me out
Instead of ACT who don’t get what rigor is all about

Can you show me those algebra skills
Can you do my linear drills
Can you show me those Common Core skills
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don’t think you do
So, you and college are through

(repeat chorus)

Now you’ve been freakin’ out ’bout words (wooords)
Blamin’ my lexicon, sayin’ learning word’s insane
Haven’t seen a college text
But you’re sure the words don’t count
Running to the ACT
Pretending they’re not doin’ it too

And then you learn no grammar (grammar)
Using singular when it should be plural instead
When the essay comes, all of a sudden you have no opinion
Don’t know where these thoughts came from
But MLK shows up is the only leader you’ve ever heard from

You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
They’re fallin’, the new test better help me out
Instead of ACT who don’t get what rigor is all about

Can you show me those algebra skills

Can you do my linear drills
Can you show me those Common Core skills
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don’t think you do
So, you and college are through

Can you show me those algebra skills

Can you do my linear drills
Can you show me those Common Core skills
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don’t think you do
The ACT’s hard too.

You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
You average, good for nothing type of tester
Oh woe is me, these scores just keep on getting lesser
They’re fallin’, the new test better help me out
Instead of ACT who don’t get what rigor is all about

Can you show me those algebra skills
Can you do my linear drills
Can you show me those Common Core skills
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don’t think you do
So, you and college are through

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3 thoughts on “Skills, Skills, Skills – Do you have those testing skills?

  • Erica Meltzer

    Oh my god Akil, this is hilarious. I can’t believe 1) I didn’t read this before, and 2) there is someone other than me who actually bothers to do things like this. I think you may actually have a snarkier sense of humor about the new SAT than I do, and THAT is impressive.

    And now, for your reading pleasure, this was my own poetic contribution (written in response to someone on Diane Ravitch’s blog) to whole SAT/Common Core fiasco.

    The Colemanade that Coleman made
    Has percolated unallayed
    In classrooms Coleman has created
    His Standards march on, unabated
    Now Coleman’s Core and Coleman’s aid
    Do flow to schools now desiccated
    The urgency must be conveyed
    to clean the mess that Coleman made.